Well gamers christmas is over and it’s time to get painfully drunk and vomit! Please be safe, don’t drink and drive and break out your rythm games and Scene it and get to some massive partying. See you in the New Year for my full Gundam: Dynasty Warriors review!

Hey all,

  Just wanted to wish you all a great Holiday no matter what you celebrate and I hope there are many video games under the tree for you that will crush your soul and make you question why oh why do I do this. (While you secretly love each minute of it.)

*sighs*  I just hope next year we get the former president of Toaplan to jump up on a float, and give us a “All your base” rendition.

Ran across this today.  It’s about nine shades of awesome.  Fan-made movie of Mega Man that if this trailer is any indication, it doesn’t blow.  Here’s a link to Eddie Lebron, the director’s page about it.  The actual movie’s site seems to be down due to traffic.

Anyhow, I thought you’d enjoy seeing this, what good fan fiction of MegaMan is, after my dreadful Yaris/Mega Man fan fiction.

Yaris!  How can you complain about something you got for free? Well, plenty of people did anyhow. 

Released Oct 07 for the 360 Live Arcade, Yaris was basically a video game ad for the Toyota Yaris. There was a commercial campaign for the Yaris a year ago, here are a couple of the videos from it:

The first video is definately the inspiration for quite a bit of the game; they even use it as the intro when you load the game.  Both videos give the game it’s over-the-top unrealistic feel that the designers just took, and kept taking past the realm of logical sense.  What we end up with, is a circa 2007 Toyota fuel economical vehicle, driving 200mph (magically) in a very F-zero style world.  It’s pretty obvious early on that this game has no reason, no plot, and is just a, “Duude, lets just put a Yaris in a racing game and mess this shit up, yo!”  So I intend to add a story to the game, and make sense of the insanity:

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Yes, this hobo will do perfectly. Now, get the Justice League!!!

Yari’s World:  The Year is something like 21XX. Our hero is Doctor Light, because I think it’s bullshit that he never got to be the hero and was regulated to opening and closing cut scenes and deserves a more primary role. Doctor Light had lived the good life for many years, leeching millions from govermental robotic contracts, claiming his need to upgrade his cyborg MegaMan, to fight Doctor Wily.  This was all bullshit of course. Light simply made a pretty badass gun and a mind control helmet, that he’d strap on a random hobo kid and dub him “The MegaMan”.  I mean, come on, be honest, good guys can’t be cyborgs, cyborgs are inherently evil, but I digress.

After Doctor Light’s 22nd fake attempt to stop Doctory Wily, he accidently succeeded.  His current Mega Man had just defeated EMP Man, and without thinking, Doctor Light’s gun, which was famous for assimilating the properties of other defeated cyborgs, fired off an EMP pulse, destroying doctor Wily’s pacemaker.  In that instant, Doctory Wily was dead and Doctor Light was not only a hero but completely broke. Bye-bye to Govermental contractual paychecks.  Having spent his money as if it would never end on cocaine, party favors and cyborg fembot prostitutes, shit got real, real fast.

 What is a Hero/Mad Scientist to do?  Make cars for the famous intergalatic races Grand Prix known as F-Zero races.  All the cool companies like Mad HubCatz, Activehicle, Vivendiesel, (EA) Electronic Autos already had pretty badass vehicles, but there was one foreign automaker that still needed a badass car for the races, Toyota.  Doctor Light Approached Toyota, and the rest is history.  He designed the Mega “Yaris” Man car, equipped with a snake-like growth from the front of the car that incorperated the Mega Man blaster technology,  the Yaris was ready for the tracks.

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Sorry, I know that was complete drivel, but I accomplished three things:

1) I wrote MegaMan Fan Fiction, which probably is the prelude to a megaman tattoo or something equally as stupid.

2) I wrote YARIS fan fiction.  I am probably the only person in the goddamn world who has ever done that.

3) I gave this game a goddamn back story.  Hi developers, just like murders, games need motive, give us a reason for the game to exist if you expect us to care!

Quick explanation of the game:

8 Tracks.  3 laps a track.  Complete unrealistic tracks, in a simplistic F-zero style setup.

Scripted Monsters attack you as you drive through at unrealistic 200+mph speeds in your…Yaris.  Unrealistic “MegaMan” style monsters. Roller blading Toasters, flying something, Gas Pump Spiders, tricycle riding sumo wrestlers, if you can dream it, Yaris probably fought it. That being said, you should really consider having better dreams. 

You have a gas pump-type gun, shooting out of your car, that gets different weapon upgrades as you race along the track.  I’m sure every single weapon has been in a Mega man game, the most noteable being Metal Man’s razor discs, which is what inspired the above fanfiction!

This all being said, despite the high insanity of the game, it did have a learning curve, and I felt myself getting better the longer I played.  The car’s physics were interesting, the faster you were going, the more traction you had, as the tracks were not a linear lane and had curves, and some were circular, getting enough speed allowed you to stay at stranger angles without sliding down to the lowest point of gravity.  All in all, the game did have some strategy to it in that regard.

What prompted me to finally play the game and get the 200 Gamerscore for it was, it was recently pulled from xbox live!  You can no longer download it, and those that did download it before lost it off their download history.  It seems this was only a year long contract for hosting by Toyota, and the game is no longer present.  This irritates me to no end.  You have to understand, downloading games like this is completely new territory for the consoles.  The expectation in my mind is these games will be available whenever I want, however long I decide to wait to download them.  Unlike traditional retail game purchases, that disappear as shelf space warrents, downloadable games do not have shelf space as a limitation, and we expect them to be there when we get around to wanting to play them.

The unfortunate truth is, they can disappear at any moment.  Of course no one is making a stink about Yaris.  It was shit.  And it was free.  If it did cost money, I can promise you people would be up in arms about it’s removal.  In response to it’s removal, I emailed Gamescore blog, but they were asses and ignored me.  So I did the natural thing, and emailed Major Nelson, who was much less of an ass, and said he didn’t believe any other game had a expiration date like Yaris.  So, that’s a good thing, for the most part, one less thing to worry about, and Major Nelson earns awesome points for responding, and I earn awesome points for making this knowledge available to the public.

Whew! Last things last.  Those Yaris Achievements? Not too bad except for one complete bullshit one.  “Earn 1 million dollars”, which easily took me 20+ hours of grinding Race Track 5, over and over.  I had to take breaks while doing this, every couple hours I’d watch some DVRed simpsons, and during the Yaris marathon I managed a Leprechaun movies 1-4 Marathon. Could you honestly picture anything worse? Playing the shame that is Yaris with the campy horribleness that is Lepherchaun?  Talk about self loathing. By the way, the 4th Lepherchaun movie, they just gave up all attempts at all at being serious.  It’s freaking “Lepherchaun 4: In Space”, it’s completely fantastic.  That being said, there is a good chance this explains my penchant for horrible games.

I propose a Tournament.

It hinges on a few things:

1) Mordis buys Culdcept Saga for 20 bucks at Gamestop.

2) Everyone that has the game that I know, agrees to play the tournament.

Edit: I’m not putting an end date on the first round, as it may take me a few days and the such to bug everyone and make sure this can happen.

Rules:  Best Two out of three matches wins.  No Custom rules, both opponets agree to the map selected.  You can use whatever deck you want for whatever match.  If the game disconnects, redo — Honor system in that respect unless someone appears to be abusing it.

Well then! Sorry about that.  I guess having the site offline for awhile while I moved it over to a new web server, was partly to blame.  Anyhow, we’re back up and running, and hopefully I’ll find more time to post more often.

DoAE2 is done! I’ll upload a shot of a broken disc soon.  You deserve that much, fair reader, and even more so, the game deserves that.  There must be no evidence that I played it!  What it boils down to is, it’s another game I have 1000GS in that Ark wont..  Well, that and simply boobs and swimsuits will no longer do it for me.  I will need far more outlandish perverted things to be even semi-aroused now.  I suppose it could have been worse, the game could have featured Hayate & Ryu Hayabusa, and the other dudes of DoA series running around in trunks. *vomits*

More posts to come, promise!

http://www.drhorrible.com/

Go there immediatley and watch it before everyone laughs at you on Monday because you don’t know what they are talking about. Thanks to Penny-Arcade for the headss up on this one.

Ark

So it seems we are semi live, Going to be talking to Rook tonight about site work and such and hopefully the ranting can begin soon!

On a side note what is it with the pompous programming types and their need to be recognized as full of the awesome and win? Just because you are socially deficient enough to wrap your head around programming doesn’t mean the rest of us need to be dutifully impressed.

PS-Screw the world

Ark

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!

– Edit

The above was the default first post to a wordpress Blog. Not sure what to make of it. “Hello World” being the title, it’s obviously referencing Brian Kernighan, and his establishment of “Hellow World” as the first introductionary example in all programming language instruction.

If the thought is to liken blogging to programming, well then! No wonder so many bloggers seem like pompus ass commentators. Blogging takes no need for analytical thought. It requires, I suppose, rudimentary instruction in language and writing skill, but the syntax and design appreciations of programming? Hrmph!

Then again, it could just be wordpress attempting to be cute, which is probably where I should leave my tin foil hat for the moment.